REVIEWs

Post Valentine’s Day: The Ladies Manual To Men-The Unofficial Categorization Of Men-Part 3


8. Hulk

Basically, don’t make him angry but having said that mr violent gets angry at anything. This is the type of guy you will never win an argument with for the following two reasons:

1. He’ll knock your lights out.

2.  See reason 1.)

Hulks are the ultimate downgrade to Arnold and Rambo because the are pure stereotyped manly men who grunt and speak in something close to what seems like bullet  points my like Mr Bombastic. For example:

  • Grr
  • kmt
  • Grrrr
  • F*** O**
  • I want you NOW!
  • Me want sex
  • You is stupid bimbo…bruv

And so on and so forth. The ladies that go out with guys like this get slapped around and make stupid excuses for staying with the punk. Tututut! Sigh. Well I ain’t coming to your funeral.

9. Super-man

He will whisk you off your feet. He will stave away all competition. He will solve all your problems. He will be all you want and need in a man and more but for f*** sake you just want to spend 5 minutes with him but the rest of the world seems to love him just as much as you do…and he knows it. He may, or may not have a big head about this (subject to availability of humble super-men in stock). I guess you just have to make do, or you could emotionally blackmail him into spending more time with you, or sit him down and have a talk. Having said that, depending on the type of super-man you may have purchased he might sit you down to tell you he will spend more time with you. All in all he is quite the hero and you’ll kill anyone who tries snatching him from you.

10. Mr Normality

He doesn’t have the biggest bank account, He does have talent and shows signs of going places, his heart is in the right place  and every once in a while he’ll sacrifice the football to spend some time with you (SOMETIMES MEANS ALMOST NEVER) .

He’ll compete against the muscular likes of Arnold, Rambo and Hulk, even superman and that far too brilliantly eloquent mr romantic. He’ll run against mr contract and mr factory settings and  do his best to show you shouldn’t be with likes of STD ridden mr bombastic. He is a normal man, with a simple life that can get exciting from time to time but wants you to make his life that little bit more exciting. They are often prone to trying to be people they are not because that’s what silly ‘girls’ go for.

You may have to show him you are no ‘girl’ but a woman of good substance. Problem with this is-many girls claim to but are actually far from womanhood than they think. If you find a mr normal (rare because they are all pretending to be other people of the more popular kind) tell him you love him for who he is. He should reset and be himself. Failing that? Take him back to the store but i doubt you’ll get any refunds!  :/

NEXT: Post Valentine’s Day: The Men’s Manual To Women-The Unofficial Categorization of Women

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