Post Valentine’s Day: The Ladies Manual To Men-The Unofficial Categorization Of Men-Part 2

I’m back! Let’s get straight to it shall we!

Mr Romantic

5. Mr Romantic

That guy who thinks poetry, love ballads and crying means life’s every problem will be solved. Don’t get me wrong, they are a giant step up from Rambo and Arnold aka Dumb  and Dumber (or in any order you chose to put them…not that it makes a difference) but if the Mr romantic you purchased isn’t the right balance between real life experience and romance your relationship is pretty much doomed to failure, or premature ejaculation-both are pretty embarrassing!

Mr romantic isn’t afraid to tell you how he feels but  depending on what one you purchased he might be more complicated than you and you’re a woman. You might have to take a degree in poetry to understand what the f*** he means. Good luck with that love…

Mr Bombastic

6. Mr Bombastic

In many ways he can be seen as an upgrade to Mr Romantic (or a step down depends on what want rocked your bed or your brain?) in the sense that he speaks in bullet points- for example

  • I want sex
  • You were rubbish
  • You’re a bitch but i love you innit
  • You shirt looks better on my bedroom floor.
  • Are you mad?
  • Are you dizzy?
  • Are you dumb?
  • Are you stupid?
  • Your friend is hotter than you-end of

He succeeds in keeping it simple when it comes to replys in contrast to mr romantic’s poetic blabber but where he fails is being a man whore of epic proportions and goes out the sleeps with all (depending on how good he is in the sack) or most of your girl friends (whether they tell you or not).

Mr romantic will say” You look nice but that dress doesn’t compliment you” , Mr bombastic will say “You look like a ‘bleeping’ scarecrow!”. They have a tendancy to speak in ghetto third person.

Factory Settings

7. Mr Factory Settings

He is the guy you’ve been waiting for just pray the manual isn’t in fricking chinese or you’re stuffed. Customise with care some changes are permanent.


8. Mr Contract

He comes with built in handsomeness and knows how to string intelligent sentences together. He’ll back you in a fight and he’ll drink you’re bath water! Damn! He isn’t a wuss but  isn’t afraid to show some love. He doesn’t, spend time arguing he spends time talking. Unlike Rambo and Arnold he can communicate.

Thing is he comes with a contract, you have to pay in emotions, time and lots of luvin all for a costly £80.00 a month! It’s pricy but worth it! Oh and another thing I forgot to tell you they are a limited edition and running out fast…

To be continued …


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